Is this a dream? Or is it real? Maybe it’s a little bit of both, but how could that be? I don’t have any doubt in my mind that Michael Jackson’s heart stopped beating and his physical body passed away on June 25, 2009 from an overdose of the anesthetic propofol which was administered in an attempt to help him sleep by a self-centered, ignorant “doctor” who chose to minimize the enormous risk he was taking with his famous patient’s life.
But this trial… there’s something about it that feels surreal.
The case seems like a slam-dunk to me. The prosecution team has presented a number of credible witnesses and experts who say there is no question that the “doctor” was negligent. There is overwhelming evidence to indicate that Murray told one lie after another to try and cover the tremendous errors in judgment he made, which were clearly driven by greed and lust above and beyond the welfare of his patient. The prosecution team has been sharp, clear, and very well prepared with every single piece of evidence and information they have presented. In fact, it feels sometimes like they have gone over the top with nearly every aspect of their presentation - leaving no stone unturned! Whereas the defense team has been so obviously floundering, not quite sure which way to go! It’s almost as if they didn’t prepare for this at all… like they just decided “We’ll just wing it. We’ve done this before. All we have to do is plant one little seed of reasonable doubt and we’re good to go. Hey, the doctor’s broke anyway - we’ll never see a dime from him in the end. But we’ll become famous for getting the-doc-that-killed-Michael-Jackson off the hook! It’ll be a breeze!” I honestly think they don’t believe that their client is so innocent in all of this. They know he’s lying through his teeth and they’ve found it hard to defend him. They have no defense! At times it seems that their fumbling around during their questioning of the witnesses is almost intentional - like it’s all a show - a plot to make the doctor look like an idiot and to teach the world a lesson, because the whole world is watching. Why else would any team of reputable attorneys allow themselves to be viewed as so extremely incompetent?
Is this, perhaps, the state of California’s attempt at an apology to Michael for 2005? Is this a planned vindication - to clear his name and to right the terrible wrong that was done to him only 4 years prior to his death? There are several things about this trial which seem almost contrived: 1) The decision to televise the trial (unlike 2005) - giving the whole world a front row seat and the opportunity of hearing every ounce of evidence so there would be no mistake of his innocence (then AND now); 2) The airing of the recording of Michael’s slurred words declaring his hopes, his dreams, and his pain for the hurting children of the world - Michael’s TRUE heart and soul revealed in a way that cannot be denied or twisted into something that it isn’t; and 3) the image… that image… his lifeless body, battle-scarred and wounded, laid out naked before the world, except for the blacked-out “loin cloth” covering his genitals, there is nothing left to the imagination. A glaring red wound over his heart, representing attempts to save his life. It is also the part of him which was the most vulnerable and tender and which he gave so willingly and completely to the world.
My first reaction upon seeing this image was shock that the judge would even allow this photo to be shown publicly, giving the media the very blood they have always thirsted for when it came to anything about Michael - his corpse stripped naked, literally and figuratively, for the world to see - for the vultures to feast on. I recalled the yet unseen photos that were taken of him in 1993 which caused him such embarrassment and distress, and I cried for him… for his family… for us… for all the world! Had we really sunk this low? I wanted to reach through my computer screen and hold him, soothe him, protect him from all the prying eyes. How could they? How could they do this to him after everything he endured? Do they not realize what the media will DO with this? That’s when it dawned on me… of course they know - they know exactly what will happen, and this is the very reason they have allowed it! Contrived indeed! But… was it contrived for all the reasons we may think?
I suddenly felt as if I was watching the making of a movie… Hollywood style… a true-life full-length feature film with a beginning, a middle, and an end. But we had not seen the end yet. We were right smack dab in the middle of the plot as it was thickening, creating suspense and anticipation for what was to come. The “ah-ha” moment when the message is revealed and made clear. When all of this insanity has a meaning and a purpose. Is there a lesson in all of this? Who’s behind it and why? Remember when Michael said “I want to do movies”… and “The best is yet to come!”??? Think about it!
I’ve had my moments recently when the “Hoax” theory has seemed very possible. I halfway expect Michael to show up at the end performing a new song with a message unlike any message he’s ever delivered before, driving home his point about the way we treat our fellow travelers on this journey of life, about our values and what we focus our energy and attention on. How do we live? And how do we Love? What are we doing to contribute to a healthier world, or are we contributing to its destruction and its insanity? I’m not saying I believe in the hoax theory, I’ve just thought about it and allowed my mind to imagine whether he could or would try to pull it off. But the truth is, when all is said and done, his message doesn’t change. Whether or not this drama being played out before the world is real or contrived… the bottom line remains the same no matter what.
A few days after the “autopsy” photo was revealed, I was at the grocery store, and when I got in line at the checkout stand I looked at the magazine racks to see if any of the covers had anything related to the trial. There was one tabloid which had this latest photo of Michael front and center on the cover with sensational headlines to match. I wanted to grab all the copies I could find, take them out to the parking lot and burn them in a public display of protest against this trash. I realized that in order to do this, I would have to steal them because I didn’t want to support the tabloids with my money. Would I have the courage to do such a thing? I felt almost as if Michael was challenging me to do it. I could hear his words, “Burn the tabloids!” and I could envision these words scrawled on many hotel linens around the world, held up in windows or over balconies for all his fans to read. Instructions directly from him to us! So, now what do I do? Do I step outside my comfort zone, making a spectacle of myself and very possibly getting arrested in the process? Oh, the very thought of it made me squirm! Even back in the early 70’s when I was protesting the Vietnam war, I was never one to be so bold as to get myself arrested to make a point. I knew this time would be no different. I reached for the first copy of the scandalous publication, turned it around and placed it back on the shelf to hide the offending headlines, remembering that this was something Michael himself did when his children were with him. I hoped he would understand and wouldn’t be disappointed in me.
As I stood in line, contemplating the impact of this photo’s release, I was suddenly struck with an awareness of something I hadn’t thought of before - this could be Michael’s crucifixion image! And I wondered… do they realize that this is what they have given us? I pondered this idea for a moment and was overcome with a sense of knowing something that the rest of the world didn’t know yet! It was overwhelming to think of and, once again, it felt surreal - just as this trial has felt to me from the beginning!
As difficult and painful as it is to accept the public release of that photo, it’s done… it’s out there… it can’t be taken back, and there is something very symbolic about it. As morbid has it may feel to even think about it in this way, it will now be a part of Michael’s history. I believe that one day it will be manipulated by artists to create a more aesthetic image of a man who was beaten and flagged and publicly humiliated before the world. The images of his walks into the Santa Maria courthouse every day for nearly 5 months in 2005 represent his journey to “the cross.” And now, we see the image of him “hanging on that cross” or laying in the tomb - his life taken from him… from his loved ones… from the world… in a public display of disrespect and wrongful judgment by a misguided humanity - a humanity led blindly by a media which had lost ITS humanity.
Do you think if we were to have an actual photograph of Jesus hanging on the cross after he died or laying on the stone slab in the tomb, that it would be an image of perfection? No, I don’t think so. Jesus suffered great physical trauma in the final hours, perhaps even days of his life, as he hung on the cross tortured and wounded, publicly humiliated with his nearly naked body on display for all to watch him suffer as his physical life slipped away. Artists have provided us with images of Jesus on the cross which have been based on their own vision of the scene as it must have appeared on that historic day. There is no doubt that these are artistic representations, created to make the point of his suffering, yet not so unpleasant to look at that we turn our eyes away in disgust. His beauty is clear and he is depicted as a hero, a saint and a martyr - suffering immeasurable pain and humiliation for the sake of the souls of mankind - to make an impact on the hearts of others so that his message will be heard. I believe the same thing will be done with this latest image of Michael… and for the same purpose… in time.
We have already seen photo-shopped images and paintings of Michael depicted much like Jesus on the cross. There is no question about the similarities between these two messengers of God, the lives they led while on this earth, their purpose for being here, and the fact that they were both crucified for their boldness to challenge the misguided beliefs of their day - to upset the status quo and make us see the absolute darkness of our ways. So, in a way, I almost feel as if the release of that photo was intended (by Divine design) to provide the world with Michael’s very own crucifixion image that will be manipulated and enhanced by artists, created to make the point of his suffering, yet not so unpleasant to look at that we turn our eyes away in disgust. His beauty will be clear and he will be depicted as a hero, a saint and a martyr who suffered immeasurable pain and humiliation for the sake of mankind - to make an impact on the hearts of others so that his message will be heard.
One thing I noticed about the image of Michael is that his arms are down by his side. This, as we all know, is NOT representative of the absolute image he provided for us over and over again on stage of his arms spread wide and his head turned up toward his creator in prayer as he ended almost every single performance. Because of this stance being so characteristic of Michael while he was here with us, it may be that artists will still choose to place him on a cross as a symbol of his own life and dedication to his cause. For me, the difference will now be the wound over his heart.
Certainly this is something that may not happen in our lifetimes. It is a raw and tender subject for us now. We are, after all, the ones who love him so deeply - more than we can describe in words to those who do not know or understand this kind of love. We are the ones who have been chosen to carry his messages forth - to make sure the world understands who he really was and to see to it that his messages are taken seriously. But, for us right now, the release of his photo in death only feels like an egregious assault on this beautiful, gentle soul whom we love so much. Most of us may not be ready yet to accept the idea that this photo may have been released for a reason beyond our comprehension; thus, it may serve a much greater purpose as time goes on and history tells the story of one man named Michael Joseph Jackson who came to shine his light on the darkness of humanity 2000 years after Christ walked the earth.
For those of you who may be having difficulty accepting the idea that the release of this photo and its symbolism serves a larger purpose, I give you this powerful quote from Matt Semino, Attorney & Legal Analyst for the Huffington Post:
"As the morbid image of a lifeless Jackson laying on a hospital gurney and labeled "Homicide," spread virally around the world, it became burned into the public's consciousness and will never be forgotten. Understandably sickening to many, the dreary image also serves as an extremely powerful symbol and stark reminder that in Michael Jackson's valiant attempt to save the lives of others, this wounded messenger unnecessarily lost his own bright future. Finally, the voices of justice are saying that this should have never happened to such a man." -Matt Semino
One more thought before I wrap this up and boldly go where I’ve never gone before! Within 24 hours after the release of the tape recording of Michael’s slurred speech declaring his wishes and dreams for a children’s hospital, someone referred to his final statement of “I am asleep” as being kind of eerie, considering how he ended up losing his life. Well, as soon as I heard that, it made me think of Jesus’ last words on the cross - “It is finished.”
Certainly something to think about…
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