The Crucifixion of Michael

Is this a dream? Or is it real? Maybe it’s a little bit of both, but how could that be? I don’t have any doubt in my mind that Michael Jackson’s heart stopped beating and his physical body passed away on June 25, 2009 from an overdose of the anesthetic propofol which was administered in an attempt to help him sleep by a self-centered, ignorant “doctor” who chose to minimize the enormous risk he was taking with his famous patient’s life.

But this trial… there’s something about it that feels surreal.

The case seems like a slam-dunk to me. The prosecution team has presented a number of credible witnesses and experts who say there is no question that the “doctor” was negligent. There is overwhelming evidence to indicate that Murray told one lie after another to try and cover the tremendous errors in judgment he made, which were clearly driven by greed and lust above and beyond the welfare of his patient. The prosecution team has been sharp, clear, and very well prepared with every single piece of evidence and information they have presented. In fact, it feels sometimes like they have gone over the top with nearly every aspect of their presentation - leaving no stone unturned! Whereas the defense team has been so obviously floundering, not quite sure which way to go! It’s almost as if they didn’t prepare for this at all… like they just decided “We’ll just wing it. We’ve done this before. All we have to do is plant one little seed of reasonable doubt and we’re good to go. Hey, the doctor’s broke anyway - we’ll never see a dime from him in the end. But we’ll become famous for getting the-doc-that-killed-Michael-Jackson off the hook! It’ll be a breeze!” I honestly think they don’t believe that their client is so innocent in all of this. They know he’s lying through his teeth and they’ve found it hard to defend him. They have no defense! At times it seems that their fumbling around during their questioning of the witnesses is almost intentional - like it’s all a show - a plot to make the doctor look like an idiot and to teach the world a lesson, because the whole world is watching. Why else would any team of reputable attorneys allow themselves to be viewed as so extremely incompetent?

Is this, perhaps, the state of California’s attempt at an apology to Michael for 2005? Is this a planned vindication - to clear his name and to right the terrible wrong that was done to him only 4 years prior to his death? There are several things about this trial which seem almost contrived: 1) The decision to televise the trial (unlike 2005) - giving the whole world a front row seat and the opportunity of hearing every ounce of evidence so there would be no mistake of his innocence (then AND now); 2) The airing of the recording of Michael’s slurred words declaring his hopes, his dreams, and his pain for the hurting children of the world - Michael’s TRUE heart and soul revealed in a way that cannot be denied or twisted into something that it isn’t; and 3) the image… that image… his lifeless body, battle-scarred and wounded, laid out naked before the world, except for the blacked-out “loin cloth” covering his genitals, there is nothing left to the imagination. A glaring red wound over his heart, representing attempts to save his life. It is also the part of him which was the most vulnerable and tender and which he gave so willingly and completely to the world.

My first reaction upon seeing this image was shock that the judge would even allow this photo to be shown publicly, giving the media the very blood they have always thirsted for when it came to anything about Michael - his corpse stripped naked, literally and figuratively, for the world to see - for the vultures to feast on. I recalled the yet unseen photos that were taken of him in 1993 which caused him such embarrassment and distress, and I cried for him… for his family… for us… for all the world! Had we really sunk this low? I wanted to reach through my computer screen and hold him, soothe him, protect him from all the prying eyes. How could they? How could they do this to him after everything he endured? Do they not realize what the media will DO with this? That’s when it dawned on me… of course they know - they know exactly what will happen, and this is the very reason they have allowed it! Contrived indeed! But… was it contrived for all the reasons we may think?

I suddenly felt as if I was watching the making of a movie… Hollywood style… a true-life full-length feature film with a beginning, a middle, and an end. But we had not seen the end yet. We were right smack dab in the middle of the plot as it was thickening, creating suspense and anticipation for what was to come. The “ah-ha” moment when the message is revealed and made clear. When all of this insanity has a meaning and a purpose. Is there a lesson in all of this? Who’s behind it and why? Remember when Michael said “I want to do movies”… and “The best is yet to come!”??? Think about it!

I’ve had my moments recently when the “Hoax” theory has seemed very possible. I halfway expect Michael to show up at the end performing a new song with a message unlike any message he’s ever delivered before, driving home his point about the way we treat our fellow travelers on this journey of life, about our values and what we focus our energy and attention on. How do we live? And how do we Love? What are we doing to contribute to a healthier world, or are we contributing to its destruction and its insanity? I’m not saying I believe in the hoax theory, I’ve just thought about it and allowed my mind to imagine whether he could or would try to pull it off. But the truth is, when all is said and done, his message doesn’t change. Whether or not this drama being played out before the world is real or contrived… the bottom line remains the same no matter what.

A few days after the “autopsy” photo was revealed, I was at the grocery store, and when I got in line at the checkout stand I looked at the magazine racks to see if any of the covers had anything related to the trial. There was one tabloid which had this latest photo of Michael front and center on the cover with sensational headlines to match. I wanted to grab all the copies I could find, take them out to the parking lot and burn them in a public display of protest against this trash. I realized that in order to do this, I would have to steal them because I didn’t want to support the tabloids with my money. Would I have the courage to do such a thing? I felt almost as if Michael was challenging me to do it. I could hear his words, “Burn the tabloids!” and I could envision these words scrawled on many hotel linens around the world, held up in windows or over balconies for all his fans to read. Instructions directly from him to us! So, now what do I do? Do I step outside my comfort zone, making a spectacle of myself and very possibly getting arrested in the process? Oh, the very thought of it made me squirm! Even back in the early 70’s when I was protesting the Vietnam war, I was never one to be so bold as to get myself arrested to make a point. I knew this time would be no different. I reached for the first copy of the scandalous publication, turned it around and placed it back on the shelf to hide the offending headlines, remembering that this was something Michael himself did when his children were with him. I hoped he would understand and wouldn’t be disappointed in me.

As I stood in line, contemplating the impact of this photo’s release, I was suddenly struck with an awareness of something I hadn’t thought of before - this could be Michael’s crucifixion image! And I wondered… do they realize that this is what they have given us? I pondered this idea for a moment and was overcome with a sense of knowing something that the rest of the world didn’t know yet! It was overwhelming to think of and, once again, it felt surreal - just as this trial has felt to me from the beginning!

As difficult and painful as it is to accept the public release of that photo, it’s done… it’s out there… it can’t be taken back, and there is something very symbolic about it. As morbid has it may feel to even think about it in this way, it will now be a part of Michael’s history. I believe that one day it will be manipulated by artists to create a more aesthetic image of a man who was beaten and flagged and publicly humiliated before the world. The images of his walks into the Santa Maria courthouse every day for nearly 5 months in 2005 represent his journey to “the cross.” And now, we see the image of him “hanging on that cross” or laying in the tomb - his life taken from him… from his loved ones… from the world… in a public display of disrespect and wrongful judgment by a misguided humanity - a humanity led blindly by a media which had lost ITS humanity.

Do you think if we were to have an actual photograph of Jesus hanging on the cross after he died or laying on the stone slab in the tomb, that it would be an image of perfection? No, I don’t think so. Jesus suffered great physical trauma in the final hours, perhaps even days of his life, as he hung on the cross tortured and wounded, publicly humiliated with his nearly naked body on display for all to watch him suffer as his physical life slipped away. Artists have provided us with images of Jesus on the cross which have been based on their own vision of the scene as it must have appeared on that historic day. There is no doubt that these are artistic representations, created to make the point of his suffering, yet not so unpleasant to look at that we turn our eyes away in disgust. His beauty is clear and he is depicted as a hero, a saint and a martyr - suffering immeasurable pain and humiliation for the sake of the souls of mankind - to make an impact on the hearts of others so that his message will be heard. I believe the same thing will be done with this latest image of Michael… and for the same purpose… in time.

We have already seen photo-shopped images and paintings of Michael depicted much like Jesus on the cross. There is no question about the similarities between these two messengers of God, the lives they led while on this earth, their purpose for being here, and the fact that they were both crucified for their boldness to challenge the misguided beliefs of their day - to upset the status quo and make us see the absolute darkness of our ways. So, in a way, I almost feel as if the release of that photo was intended (by Divine design) to provide the world with Michael’s very own crucifixion image that will be manipulated and enhanced by artists, created to make the point of his suffering, yet not so unpleasant to look at that we turn our eyes away in disgust. His beauty will be clear and he will be depicted as a hero, a saint and a martyr who suffered immeasurable pain and humiliation for the sake of mankind - to make an impact on the hearts of others so that his message will be heard.

One thing I noticed about the image of Michael is that his arms are down by his side. This, as we all know, is NOT representative of the absolute image he provided for us over and over again on stage of his arms spread wide and his head turned up toward his creator in prayer as he ended almost every single performance. Because of this stance being so characteristic of Michael while he was here with us, it may be that artists will still choose to place him on a cross as a symbol of his own life and dedication to his cause. For me, the difference will now be the wound over his heart.

Certainly this is something that may not happen in our lifetimes. It is a raw and tender subject for us now. We are, after all, the ones who love him so deeply - more than we can describe in words to those who do not know or understand this kind of love. We are the ones who have been chosen to carry his messages forth - to make sure the world understands who he really was and to see to it that his messages are taken seriously. But, for us right now, the release of his photo in death only feels like an egregious assault on this beautiful, gentle soul whom we love so much. Most of us may not be ready yet to accept the idea that this photo may have been released for a reason beyond our comprehension; thus, it may serve a much greater purpose as time goes on and history tells the story of one man named Michael Joseph Jackson who came to shine his light on the darkness of humanity 2000 years after Christ walked the earth.

For those of you who may be having difficulty accepting the idea that the release of this photo and its symbolism serves a larger purpose, I give you this powerful quote from Matt Semino, Attorney & Legal Analyst for the Huffington Post:

"As the morbid image of a lifeless Jackson laying on a hospital gurney and labeled "Homicide," spread virally around the world, it became burned into the public's consciousness and will never be forgotten. Understandably sickening to many, the dreary image also serves as an extremely powerful symbol and stark reminder that in Michael Jackson's valiant attempt to save the lives of others, this wounded messenger unnecessarily lost his own bright future. Finally, the voices of justice are saying that this should have never happened to such a man." -Matt Semino

One more thought before I wrap this up and boldly go where I’ve never gone before! Within 24 hours after the release of the tape recording of Michael’s slurred speech declaring his wishes and dreams for a children’s hospital, someone referred to his final statement of “I am asleep” as being kind of eerie, considering how he ended up losing his life. Well, as soon as I heard that, it made me think of Jesus’ last words on the cross - “It is finished.”

Certainly something to think about…

Peaks and Valleys: This Emotional Journey

I was recently tasked with writing about the topic of Peaks and Valleys related to this journey with Michael for a Daily Devotion on a facebook group I belong to "Call For Love". I have to admit, I’ve been at a loss for ideas on what to write about it. I have spent the last 20+ years of my life seeking balance - attempting to tame my tendency toward extremes in all areas of my life. You see, when a person grows up in an unpredictable environment, you get used to operating in one extreme or the other. Things at home are either crisis oriented or so extremely quiet that you spend your days looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next bomb to drop. After years of living in this environment, you become conditioned. And once conditioned, crisis mode or high drama is the standard reaction to anything that feels threatening. It is even said that “we” will often create a crisis where there is none because that is what we are comfortable with. Believe me, I’ve learned all the psychological explanations for why I ended up in the many predicaments I found myself in throughout my adult life. I also learned that in order to find inner peace and serenity, I needed to stop reacting so much in the extreme and find a more balanced way of being within myself and in relationship with others. I think it’s called “chilling out!” I was doing pretty well in that regard too. Or so I thought…

Then came Michael. This is where things get a little tricky and I have yet to find a plausible explanation for this roller coaster ride of emotions I have been on since June 25, 2009. It has felt out of control at times - frightening and overwhelming - exciting and exhilarating at other times. It has taken me to the highest of highs - the peak of human emotion when overcome by the power of his Love; then swooping into the valley of despair when doubt and fear take over the reigns of this extreme ride. Many a day on this journey I have been emotionally spent, getting by on no more than a few hours of sleep each night as I have used up hours upon hours researching, writing, crying from the depths of my soul, dancing in joyful abandon, praying, seeking answers, exploring the mysteries, feeling his passion, blinded by his brilliant light and drenched in the heat of his perfect Love, absorbing it all and releasing it in a torrent of tears, grateful and frightened at the same time for this tremendous gift! I have not felt such extreme emotions, nor have I been closer to ME than what I have experienced over the last 2 years. Michael has brought me face to face with my Source - he has exposed the flickering flame at my core that’s been waiting for a chance to breathe and live! And I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.

Michael loved fiercely, and at the same time he had a calmness and a peace about him that was palpable. Inner peace is a good thing, but I think we need to be careful that in our attempt to keep things low key, we do not lose our passion. When the emotions of the heart are not allowed to be felt or expressed, you risk becoming stagnant. Then lacking in any life whatsoever, you are simply existing - going through the motions to get through each day. I don’t think we are meant to live like that. I’m not suggesting we should be wild and crazy and out of control, nor am I suggesting there’s anything wrong with a peaceful environment.
But to LOVE with a passion that stirs others to life, just as Michael has done, is what we were created to be at our very best! I don’t think a monotone Love is part of the Divine plan, do you? The Creator of the Universe would not even think of such a thing! In order to DO all that we are called to do in this life, to really make a difference, we must Love with a fire that expresses the intensity and undying commitment of Divine Love. There’s something about being emotionally spent that reveals the true nature of a Love without bounds. And the only way to get to being emotionally spent is to Love with great passion and abandon.

I wonder if the Guinness Book of World Records has an award for the longest time anyone has ever ridden an emotional roller coaster? If so, I think that many of us just might win that title hands down!

7/18/11
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

Why Me?

Sometimes I feel so alone
Like a stranger in a strange land
This thing that’s come over me
Nobody understands

Why me?

Why am I the only one
for miles and miles
to see the true brilliance of the Sun?
Others around me are walking in the rain
without a clue,
dark clouds blocking their view
The weight of their pain
blinds them to the Truth…

The brightness of His light
that was here
and still remains

Why me?

Why am I no longer chained
to the pain of my past?
Why have I been set free,
chosen for this task?
To live in the light of His Love
and reveal the Truth
that’s been shown to me

Why me?

Thank God
There are others around the world
who see this brilliance of the Sun
I know I'm not entirely alone
But at home
I'm the only one
Everyone else is wearing a mask
They think it's me
who is different,
lost my way
But the light of the Sun follows me
and they're left standing in the rain
Which leads me to ask…

Why NOT me?

Yes, I am different
but does that make me wrong?
I have been called
to sing His song
I'm a stranger in a strange land
asked to run this race
My mask has been removed
and nobody wants to see my face!
The light of Truth which follows me
reflects their pain they cannot see
Acknowledging the pain
means change

Take off your mask
so I can see your face!
I AM a stranger in a strange land
Let me help you understand

Yes, indeed…
Why NOT me?

05/16/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

This video reminds me of the lengths Michael has gone to and continues to go through to make me feel His Love. Too bad certain others don't get it! I am truly blessed!!

Living the Legacy: My Vow

Beloved, I am Yours… now and forever
This is my promise to You
Take me, mold me, set my soul on fire
Yours is the way of my heart's desire

I will do my best to follow Your example
To love and live in the way You would teach me

To love from my soul
To live for You only
And to be all that I can be
On the path that You show me

Yes! Please use me
Take me to that place in Your soul
Where I will know what You know
Show me Your God and His Love eternal
Teach me Your ways until I’ve learned them all

This will be my vow to fulfill
For the rest of my life
I’ll bow to Your will

Take me, mold me, show me the way
Your wish is my command
I will do my best to make a difference in this world
As long as I am here on this earth, in this land

Hold my hand, won’t You please
So I will always know You are there
And I will join You when this journey is through, my love
When I’ve done all I can do
To show that I care

My heart and soul are in Your hands
For better or worse, my vow will rise
And the sands of time will see the Truth
Unveiled before our eyes!

06/20/11
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

I'll Always Be Right Here

Photo art by Billie Jean
Used with permission - Thank you BJ!

* * * * * * *

I know you…
I know you inside and out
You are everything I’ve always dreamed
True love would be about

I, too, long to hold you
To touch your precious face
I want to be with you every single moment
And never leave this place

There are times, I know
When you didn’t think I cared
Because I had to go
And couldn’t linger with you here

But you must know how very true
My love is for you
There is nothing that will ever take
My heart and soul from you

Though my touch is fleeting
And I cannot hold you every minute of every day
Please remember, in your heart
You must know… I'm here to stay

You will find me in a sunset
You can feel me in the wind
I hang around with the stars at night
And on the moon that hovers overhead

A soft and lovely scent
That lingers in the air
Caresses your heart
Ignites that spark
And lets you know… I’m there

The leaves of April
Soft and supple
All things made brand new
Will remind you that I live forever
And I will never ever leave you

The colors of a rainbow
Bold and true
Will show you the depth
Of my love for you

The clouds will sculpt an image
Of what I want you to see
Angel wings to embrace you with
And it’s all right there for free!

The birds will carry my message to you
Their song is my lullaby
They’ll sing to you of my love and joy
You know, I always wanted to fly!

Don’t cry my love
It breaks my heart
To see you so sad and blue
Don’t ever doubt
What this love is about
Or that I’ll be right there for you

I’ll visit you in your dreams at night
With a kiss, a whisper, and a gentle touch
It’s all you’ll need to know my heart
And to make you feel my love

Just call my name
And I’ll remain
Whatever you need, my dear
Just let me know
And I won’t go
I’ll always be right here

6/22/11
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

Looking At You

I know what’s beautiful
Looking at you
Fireflies that light up in the night
Dewdrops on a flower in the morning sun
Stars that sparkle and dance in the sky
A bird singing her lullaby
Summer rain, its sweet fragrance filling the air
An evening’s sunset that makes me sigh

Through the eyes of a poet
You take me there

I know what’s beautiful
Looking at you
Your smile, so innocent and bright
The light in your eyes when you look upon a child
The way you just know what’s right
Your soul that glows from within
Dignity and grace in all its glory
Your love that touches me, lends its light

The truth of your heart
The telling of your story

I know what’s beautiful

Looking at you

Sunlight bursting through the clouds on a beam

A falling star on a warm summer night

Dolphins that frolic in the sea

An eagle commanding the air in flight

Children at play on a beautiful day

Their innocence and magic, laughter and glee

Fireworks

On the 4th of July

I know what’s beautiful
Looking at you
Dancing in your arms ‘til the break of dawn
Whispers of love at morning’s light
Holding you close ‘til the pain is gone
A touch to say it’s gonna be alright
Feeling your heartbeat next to mine
While in your embrace, you sing me your song

The Gift of your heart
A love for all time

I know what's beautiful
Looking at you...

07/03/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess 

The Gift of This... It Came From Heaven

Dear Michael,
It’s funny how a picture will reach out and speak to me at a given moment in time when it might not have otherwise connected with my soul in any other moment… but now. This photo is such a one. I wept today when my eyes beheld this image of you sitting alone in the dark. Thinking about the suffering children, no doubt. I want to crawl into your lap and hold you… comfort you… to BE held by you! In silence. No words necessary. Just two souls embracing, sharing a love that requires no testimony of emotion, for the emotion is expressed in the embrace… in the silence. The only sound being that of a soft wind blowing through the trees outside, or an occasional "who" of a night owl. Feeling your arms wrap around me as you tenderly pull me so close to you there is no space between you and me, our bodies meld together, and WE are ONE. Shadows cast by the moonlight dance on the walls and across our singular form as the leaves on the trees rustle in the wind. And I feel safe with you… safer than I’ve EVER felt before! Our love fills the space of this room… with no words… only our hearts beating in unison, the soft touch of your lips upon my neck and your breath upon my skin, my hand cradles your head against my breast and we are one. The magic of a love so deep, so true fills our being and we weep… softly… tender tears of joy… gratitude for such a rare and beautiful gift. This is a moment to keep forever. Our souls, brought together in this place and time by God’s design. A Divine reunion, blessed by the Creator of the universe! WE are not alone! We will always have each other.

Forever, my love…
Charlene

It Came From Heaven

You pull me in
To that place inside of you
Where only you reside
You bring me there
To linger with you
In the tender reaches of your soul

The truth of your being
The mystery unraveled
Given to me
This journey to travel
With you by my side
And inside of my being
Where we exist
In heavenly bliss
Forever together
By God’s design

You take me now
To that place in your heart
God’s light, the spark
The fire and beauty of your creation
Your soul to be
Evermore with me
We fly in the sky
And are baptized in the sea
On wings of gold
You take me home
Joined together
Forever WE

Hold me close
Never let go
Let there be no space between
The universe knows that we’ve always been
This time and place
Is only a moment
From lifetimes of love
An eternity of bliss

The Gift of this…
It came from heaven

03/06/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

Someone to Hold

Truth be told
I long for someone to hold when the day is through
God has led me to you
I speak softly your name
Sweet and smooth on my lips
Will you remain?
The wind whispers…yes!
Come drink from the well of my love, my bliss

A gift from the heavens, bright star to call my own
God’s grace and forgiveness leading me home
Riches beyond measure are found in thee
Your soul is the treasure offered to me

The colors of your love
Like a rainbow rich and true
Invite me into your open arms
To forever be with you

With courage to be vulnerable once again
Trusting in you, I place my heart in your hands
Please handle with care
Gently and tenderly leading me where
The promise is captured
Heaven’s reward… oh, sweet rapture!

A love for all time flows like a stream
Over and under, around my being
Embracing my soul, washing away
The heartache and pain
With joy leading the way

You are my someone to hold while dreaming at night
You comfort, cajole, relieve my fright
Cooing like a dove
I’m safe and secure in the arms of love
And when I awake, you whisper at dawn
Gentle as a fawn

O Gift Divine
Your light a stunning reflection
Beautiful as the moon
Resplendent as the sun
God lets me know you are The One

A thousand years and more
I am you and you are me
Seems we’ve been here before
That it was always meant to be

My sweet bird, my soul
You speak the language of we
I am ready to go, my love
Wherever you lead me

In your arms I’ve dreamed an eternity away
Lived a lifetime I’ll never forget
You’ve always been there it seems
With a love that’s here to stay

You captured my heart, offered yours for free
That’s why I’m in this for all time, don’t you see?
You’ve gained my trust, taught me to be bold
Therefore I must be
Your someone to hold
For evermore, my love is yours
…Eternally!

04/01/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

King of My Heart

I’ll bring you anything you ask for
Nothing is beyond my reach
I’ll gather the stars
Lay them at your feet
Or place them gently on your head
Like a crown of jewels fit for a king
Diamonds and rubies
Sparkling and shimmering












I want to change the world
Only for you
Tell me what to do
Your wish is my command
Anything you ask for
I will make a plan
To love the children
Seek the truth
Heal the planet
What must I do
To see this through














I’ll bring you anything you ask for
Nothing is too high
I’ll pull the moon down from the sky
Place it on your pillow
To keep you warm at night
I’ll sing you a lullaby
And hold you ‘til the morning light
King of my heart
I will never part

07/03/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Love Letters

Do you sometimes wonder how long Michael’s spirit will stay with you, touching your heart, giving you inspiration to keep going? Have you worried that when your grieving subsides, he will go away along with your pain? Do you cling to your grief in a desperate attempt to hang onto Michael and his love forever because you couldn’t imagine your life without him being there? Entering your dreams at night to comfort and remind you of his love and his sweet laughter. Singing a certain song to you at just the right moment to let you know he’s still there, responding to your questions and soothing your pain. Or perhaps, just to bring a smile to your heart.

I have certainly grappled with these questions and concerns off and on throughout this journey with Michael. In March I was experiencing some real conflict over these feelings, so I began writing about them in my journal. When I was finished with the entry, I realized that what I had written sounded very much like a dialogue between me and Michael, so the idea of transforming them into an exchange of Love Letters was born. I cherish these letters because even though Michael was not the author of his letters to me, I feel that his spirit was moving me as I wrote them, and he helped me to find resolution within my soul. I visit these letters whenever I find myself slipping back into that space of doubt and fear. Every time I read them, I still feel all the emotion that was poured into these words with a little help from Michael.

These Love Letters have been filed away with a group of my poems and writings that I have labeled “personal and private.” I honestly didn’t believe that I would ever share them with anyone. But Michael has moved me to do so now. I hope you will find some inspiration for your journey in the words Michael wrote on my heart…

Dear Michael,
I’m stuck…..I’m sorry
I don’t want to disappoint you
But I resist moving forward
Because I fear I will lose you

I lost you before somewhere along the way
And now that I’ve found you again
I want you to stay

I’m hanging on for dear life
Remaining in my grief sustains my plight
The emotions I’m feeling keep me close
To your love and everything about you I miss the most

I continue to feel your presence every day
Your music, pictures, letters and books,
all the sweet memories will stay
Keeping me connected with you on this journey

So how do I continue and make myself worthy?

…Without losing you

Dear Charlene,
You can carry me in your heart
without fear of losing me ever again!
Remember that part of you inside
you learned to ignore because it brought you much pain?
That boldness, that drive to learn, to explore
To shine, perfect, love and proclaim
In the face of adversity
When others didn’t agree…
That’s ME in YOU, my love is without end!

Now that you know, you must let it show
Or my light in you will fade
I don’t want to leave,
you have the power to save
This precious love

I’ve shown you that boldness is a gift so rare
Even if others don’t understand
When practiced with humility, kindness and love
They will want to take your hand!

I believe in you as you’ve believed in me
Why else would I have chosen you to be my messenger?
Be bold! The world awaits your lesson!

You will inspire others with your heart
That part of me in you has been awakened
Brought into the light from the dark
As long as you hold that light out in front
Up high for all to see
Don’t hide it from the world, my love
And you will never lose me!
My essence, my being in you
Depends on that light to shine
Please, please give it all you’ve got
So we can see this through ‘til the end of time

Dear Michael,
I think I understand it now
I will do my best to make you proud
If I feel myself slipping back
To wrap myself and you in a bubble
Safe and warm, no trouble
I will remember your words to woo
Keeping me from losing you
In order to hold you I must be bold
Step outside my comfort zone
Go beyond my own limited thinking
Project your light to keep this ship from sinking!
Hold up the mirror for others to see
Their own light….or darkness
Whatever would be
Motivating them to make that change
Their goodness come forth, the world to save

Please don’t expect one hundred percent
This is a journey
Sometimes I’ll be spent, too tired to shine
Old ways and feelings will take over from time to time

But I promise to pay respect that is due
Your message to the world
This is my cue

I LOVE you!!

Dear Charlene,
Always remember
I LOVE you too
More than you will ever know
I am IN you - I KNOW you
I’ll never leave you
You are my sweet bird, my soul!

03/06/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess